April 2012
friend: oh you have tumblr, whats your url?
you: oh my url is.. *violently sprays friend in eye with mace spray, friend falls to ground in agony, you take out your fake mexican passport with the name 'hugo fernadez' on it and run as fast as you can to the nearest airport where you board a plane to mexico and take up a career in chicken farming for the next 10 years*
*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on holy fink
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone I'm sure they know about when I smoked that one time
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer
